


medicine

by orphan_account



Category: The Maze Runner (2014)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Overdosing, Pills, Suicide, Triggers, im sorry, newt always has to be the sad one doesnt he, outcast!newt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-14
Updated: 2015-05-14
Packaged: 2018-03-30 12:33:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3936901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>newt just had enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	medicine

**Author's Note:**

> trigger warning

school wasn't exactly newt's favorite place in the world. not even close.

if you knew newt you'd think: he does so well in school he'd probably stay the night there if he had a choice  
he won't. why would he? no one liked school nowadays, right? grades don't define who you are as a person. newt couldn't care less about his grades now.

 

if he had to describe school in one word, it'd be hell. it feels like real life hell on earth. at least, that's how newt feels like.  
because how could you stand to be in a place where you're not only alone but criticized for everything you do.

 

how could people expect so much but think so little of you? it's unfair.  
they say you have to go to school to learn and all that crap but they never tell you the torturous feeling you'd get when you walk alone in the hallways and feel every antagonizing stare they throw at you. of course they wouldn't. they couldn't. they never walked alone in the hallways. unlike newt. let me tell you one thing, each stare feels like a stab wound and getting criticized by ignorant blokes and all the bullshit and stress his teachers gave him is not making it any better.

 

* * *

 

 

newt had best friends once.   
once upon a time he had a seat saved for him in every class, and he didn't eat alone, he didn't walk the goddamned crowded hallways alone. they were always there.  
now all they do is stare at him when he gets shoved inside lockers and avoids looking him in the eye at all costs. they didn't do anything when newt got beat up by gally. they didn't do anything when ben made him look bad in class, not that it would change anything because he already does. they never did anything when they found out newt was confined in a hospital because of a suicide attempt. they made it pretty fucking clear to newt that he was nothing. worthless. embarrassing. a disappointment. they were bad friends and newt, newt was so done with everything.

 

so newt came home from school that day looking like a mess, dropped his bag in the middle of the living room and rushed to his room to take his medications. one for sleep, two for depression. he had to take these pills everyday to feel okay. one for sleep, two for depression. thomas and minho probably never looked at him as a friend like he did. one for sleep, two for depression. he'd been shoved in lockers for far too long. one for sleep, two for depression. he was starting to feel sick, maybe he needed to take more of his pills. one for sleep, two for depression. again? just to make sure he took his pills right. one for sleep, two for depression. newt feels so sick that his knees gave up on him, he needed to feel normal. he had to. one for sleep, two for depression.

 

soon enough newt had emptied the bottles and he collapsed to the floor, shaking and gasping for air.

everything was a blur. everything just hurt. and everything's finally over.

 

* * *

 

 

his mom came home shocked at the scene before her, her only son's body was laying lifelessly on his bedroom floor, cold as ice and pale as a sheet, his pills in hand. she cant save him this time. his pulse was long gone and his lips were this particular shade of blue it almost seemed colorless. her whole body shook realizing she wasn't going to be a mother anymore. newt needed her and she wasn't there. she had failed newt.

 

* * *

 

 

losing your son is like losing your future. newt would be 18 today. all the birthday cakes she hadn't eaten with newt, all those proms newt didn't get to go to. it hurt as hell. she wanted him to come back and tell her it was just an april fools prank but april was long gone and her son, newt, having experienced a disorder no one ever took seriously was no joke. he was too young. he deserved a better life. a life he couldn't possibly have in this world of impossible things.


End file.
